Some political subtext to some of these, most not, but just in case anyone missed it:
The Washington Post’s Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are this year’s winners. Read them carefully. Each is an artificial word with only one letter altered to form a real word. Some are terrifically innovative:
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Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
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Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
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Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people, that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The Bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
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Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
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Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
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Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.
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Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
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Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
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Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
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Karmageddon: It’s like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s like, a serious bummer.
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Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
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Glibido: All talk and no action.
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Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
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Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web.
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Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
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Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you’re eating.
And the pick of the lot:
- Ignoranus: A person who’s both stupid and an asshole
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