Saturday, September 6, 2008

If you can't stand them...... Laugh at them!!!!

Some political subtext to some of these, most not, but just in case anyone missed it:

The Washington Post’s Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are this year’s winners. Read them carefully. Each is an artificial word with only one letter altered to form a real word. Some are terrifically innovative:

  1. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

  2. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

  3. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people, that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The Bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

  4. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

  5. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

  6. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.

  7. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

  8. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

  9. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

  10. Karmageddon: It’s like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s like, a serious bummer.

  11. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

  12. Glibido: All talk and no action.

  13. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

  14. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web.

  15. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

  16. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you’re eating.

And the pick of the lot:

  1. Ignoranus: A person who’s both stupid and an asshole

1 comment:

Knit Witch said...

Oh my gosh.........I am LAUGHING at all of that crazy stuff!!! Thanks!